Back in '09 I started this ride
Reviewing putrid crap known as Silent Hill: Dying Inside
Based around a foul-mouthed brat of a child
And an eBay purchase that's driving me wild
Who in the hell sells the Necronomicon online?
And this is also when we meet Whately for the first time
This whole miniseries completely sucks
But thanks to it my reality is now fucked
First the sirens bored into my brain
My whole apartment becoming like the Silent Hill game
Beating the first Pyramid Head with a Pokeball
The second takes more effort to get it to fall
But luckily I found my stowed magic-gatling gun
To waste that metal-headed abomination scum
Unlocking the good ending 'Groovy' for me to enjoy
I'm just glad I wasn't stuck with the ending 'Rat Boy'
So moving on another year, another shitty series
With the Schrodinger title of Dead/Alive? Please...
This thing making me see people who aren't there
Putting image flashes in my head, and I swear
If the fog and sirens don't let up soon
I'm gonna man-punch this book from here to the moon
This one's plot is based around an idiotic plan
To turn an actor into an axe-wielding madman
Fuck this series, it's complete and utter shit
But it aggravates the images, I'm being driven crazy by it
Visions calling me sick, my magic gun not responding
It's possessed by the girl killed for just one thing
To create a weapon to be used against the church's enemy
The creature saying I'm her daddy
But again I beat her using Saba and my Pyramid Head
Left with just a clue of the fight ahead
Vyce...


Lo and behold, Vyce beams into my house
In order to live up to his eternal vows
To fight the entity that he claims to track
But first he wants to defeat us, get us off his back
Iron Liz and I take him on with magic weapons
But his suit has enough power inside to deflect them
Stunning him with sonics from my pair of screwdrivers
Yet he manages to stun us after trying to divide us
Activates his teleport, but look, it isn't working
We distracted him while Angry Joe got behind the curtain
Disabling Vyce's ship with Linksano, we morph and fight once again
To bring this Lord's reign to a swift end
With the help of 90s Kid, Finevoice and Munro
Our power beats Lord Vyce, lays him down low
Now exiled to a planet with no indigenous life signs
To make sure that battle would be the last time
Another year, guess what? More Silent Hill
All complete crap to talk about until
The weirdness sends me back to where I used to live
And meet Whately in person so that he can give
Me a speech about this crap and the god he worships
Before attacking me with his Pyramid Head cultists
But I trick him with a hologram and defeat him with my gun
And we're taken back to the apartment, hoping that we're done
Reviewing Spider-Man and Pokemon as I wait
For this odd daemonic voice to show it's part in my fate
Causing errors and glitches in my computer's systems
And the revelation that 90s Kid is possessed, then
The final twist in this messed-up tale
That I'm quickly losing hope in my ability to prevail
As the voice reveals it is Lord Vyce's Entity
And it's desire is to absorb everything, starting with me


I am the missing one
Error, Glitch, the Voiceless
My horror is beauty
My touch is corruption
My limbs are infinite
Your reality becoming beautiful at my touch
I am the Never-Should
Born by wondrous accident
I am the Outer God looking in on your existence
In this perpetual second I extend
Absorbing all, making it beautiful
The creation of the glorious unanything
Logic destroyed, synapses inverted
Multiverses dance to the non-sound of my corruption
Colliding glints of beauty and un-life
The loving paradox of my existence
A spasm of code, the many names of nothing
Rational gaze extinguished
Every cosmos and star, every universe will be error
An eternal, glorious glitch
JOIN ME